Monday, November 28, 2011

Tired

Perhaps now isn't a great time to be making this post. Perhaps I should wait until I'm calmer and in a more reasonable state of mind. Perhaps if I were able to chill the fuck out enough to do that I wouldn't need to make this post at all.

However it is not the case that I am calm. It is not the case that I am feeling reasonable.

Let me say it again: I AM NOT CALM.

I'm tired, sick and fucking tired, of having people second guess every single raid call I make. I'm unhappy to hear that people aren't enjoying the raids. Especially since the people complaining most loudly are actually the ones causing the raids to be so excruciating. And I can not stand it when no matter what strategy I use for a fight someone doesn't like it. Often the same someone who whined about the original strategy until I changed it to the new one.

It saps my will to lead raids when I hear that the guild raids suck, or are run badly, or use strategies that are terrible. Fuck, it saps my will to play at all, when I get constantly get told how terribly hostile the guild is by the very person who is making it such a hostile environment to begin with.

Sadly, I'm not drunk and won't post this to the guild boards. But I'm having a really hard time looking forward to my imminent guild leadership with any thing other than horror.
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3 comments:

Saif said...

I had the same thing going on after 2 years of continuous raid-leading, and I realized it was very close to burn-out. Rather than try to blaze through it, I took on a back-up role with another long-term member taking the forefront of scheduling and making the big calls.

Saved raiding for me and the guild.

I'm sure you have options! Good luck. It's not fun when you're dreading raid nights. :(

November 28, 2011 at 10:04 AM
Clara said...

I think that's what I'm going to do as well. I've never seen it go well when the raid leader and guild leader are the same person. So in the interest of not inviting disaster I'll get one of the other officers to step up to lead raids.

It's kind of sad to contemplate though. I really like leading raids when the team actually gels and starts kicking ass and taking names.

November 28, 2011 at 11:18 AM
Saif said...

Yes, I do miss that, but you're still there, you're still helping in the background, the Officer chat conversations before the decision are a big part of our calls, and I get to chime in there, and before a pull, I can always make a, "If I might make a suggestin..." if I think I have something really constructive to say.

But you get to leave behind a lot of the stuff where you have to yell at people, get stressed about stuff, etc. You have enough to manage as a GM on that front.

I tried to be GM/RL at once, once, and it was a complete disaster. You're in a judge/jury/executioner position and it really creates a lot of weird trust issues within a team.

I'd never do it again, myself, but I'm sure there are ways to manage it - depending on how hardcore your guild is and how firm your guidelines for expected behavior are.

November 30, 2011 at 7:06 AM

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